Self-care Saturday

18 June 2022

"My birthday is coming up, so I'm buying myself a present."

Shopping for yourself considered to be self-care, right?

Self-care is a concept that I'm learning more about, especially since starting my new job. We are regularly asked how we're managing our own self-care, because it is especially important when you take on a care and/or therapeutic role. Fit your own mask before attempting to assist others, and all that.

I think we each have our own definition of self-care and what it looks like for us, but me being me, I had to look up an actual definition.

"Self-care - the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress," say the Oxford dictionary.

I think we've changed the way we view being proactive about what we need and what we want, and indeed being able to confidently identify and articulate those things. I used to think self-care was taking half an hour for yourself (and maybe doing the grocery shopping without a child in the trolley), or sitting down with a hot coffee and a magazine. I have learned that self-care is not a guilty pleasure, and its not selfish. At least, it shouldn't be.

Spending money on ourselves seems to often have a connotation of something frivolous. Financial situations notwithstanding it is one way of prioritising our own need over something else. I recently bought myself a new pair of sneakers.

I didn't NEED the sneakers. I liked the sneakers and I wanted the sneakers, and on my current wage and with the great sale price that I happened upon I felt no guilt in buying them, and my son was not negatively impacted financially by my purchase. They made me smile. I feel good when I wear them. (They are purple - what's not to love?) I spent money and time (the process of finding and purchasing was actually enjoyable for me too) doing something just for me, and it was okay.

Cody saw me doing that. He weighed in. He was interested in seeing them when they arrived. I have never been more conscious than I have recently of letting him see what I now understand self-care to be. Having a job is teaching him so much. Not just about money and responsibility, but also about being accountable to yourself. I've noticed that he is becoming more conscious of time management, what he needs, and when he can do those things. He now says things like, "I need to move my body", and he will go for a short run or ride his bike. He also sometimes says, "I just need some time," and will have 15 minutes in his room listening to music. He has seen me take time for myself. I have explained my reasoning, and he has grown up accepting personal space and boundaries and easily identifies them in himself and communicates those needs.

Self-care is more than spending money on yourself and drinking wine in the bath, (although that's not a bad idea at all). It's about attending to your physical and psychological well-being. This can be hard as a parent. I recently read an article from Janet Lansbury about self-care for parents, and it gave me a different perspective. It seems that I may have unconsciously been setting boundaries around my time for a while.

For someone who is so busy with a range of different things spending time on a hobby is difficult to manage. I sometimes have trouble making time for feel-good things that aren't working toward a bigger goal. I'm working on that.

Last week I opened this flower shop model kit (which I bought for myself for Christmas because tiny things are cute, and it's a flower shop - about the size I can handle right now). I've been steadily working on it a piece of tiny furniture at a time. I'm resigned to the fact that it's never going to look like the picture on the box, but I'm hoping that the little pieces that I've dropped and been unable to find aren't essential and I don't accidentally glue anything else to the table. The perfectionist in me doesn't love that the table legs are wonky, but I'm going to hide it inside the shop and no one will ever know. It may make an appearance in this week's 52Frames entry for "Shoot from Above". I'm currently undecided on subject matter.

Last week I was looking for little people figurines to create a story for "Triangular Composition". It was tough this week to come up with a story. When I eventually decided on something it was lots of fun to put together. I ended up with Harry Potter Lego characters instead. Even Wizards need the magical potion that is coffee. Lacking a ladder they are using books to get to the rim of the cauldron. Hermione is reading the spell and yelling instructions, Ron is passing up the sugar, and Harry is tossing coffee beans into the cauldron. If I had thought about it earlier I would have added incense to create smoke and qualify for the Extra Challenge, but it was an after thought and I had packed up by then. I added a lit candle to the cauldron to give off a glow, and used my tripod with the camera suspended underneath, and therefore upside down to get the shot at the right level. I'm hoping this week I can do something less complicated.

It's been quite a party, ain't it

Purple Fairy